As this year comes to an end I have been contemplating back and seeing all the wonderful things that have happened. In retrospect this year has been amazing. I have ended the year feeling confident and happy with who I am. I have hopes and dreams that I know that with hard work and a little bit of luck I will be able to accomplish. I am happy with the man I am turning to be and with the cards that life has dealt me.
This year started in an interesting note. While I was in a relationship I knew that my relationship was bound to fail. Sure enough in the midst of preparing for my first solo recital (I had one before but it was with someone else, this recital was only featuring me) my boyfriend and I decided to end our relationship. It was a hard moment in my life. My parents had found out about my relationship earlier in the year and they were in shock. They had finally realized that my so called phase was not a phase at all and me being gay was a reality.
It was a hard beginning to a wonderful year. I managed to give my recital in which I believe I did a wonderful job and I had fun doing it. My parents decided to accept me for who I was. They still love me and I guess that now as a family we decide to ignore the problem and not mention it. Unfortunately I fell into a small depression realizing that I had fallen in love with the boy whom I just had broken up with. After much flirting and fighting and loving we managed to put our differences apart and love each other. Needless to say I am back with this wonderful boy who loves me for me.
Fortunately for me my personal life has been wonderful. We have had our ups and downs but we have managed to pass through them and keep on loving each other. My parents are not in on the news. I am afraid of telling them. I don't want to break their heart even more but I realize that eventually they are going to have to deal with it and love me.
I am also amazed with the wonderful things that my career has brought me. This year I was fortunate enough to be accepted into two different summer music programs in Europe and I choose the one that I felt fit my needs better. I ended up going to Salzburg, Austria. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I lived in Salzburg for a month and I got to work with wonderful musicians and to meet many colleagues that I am sure are destined for greatness. I grew there both as a person and as a musician.
This year I also started my last year in college. I am amazed that in a semester I will be done with my Bachelor's degree. My whole life I have been working towards a degree and now I am even applying to be accepted in to a Master's program. I am very thankful because all the hard work and studying is paying off. I also managed to finish my Associates degree in graphic design this December.
To make my semester even better I was chosen to be one of the soloist in this year's School of Music Christmas program. We performed Bach's Magnificat. It was a wonderful experience to be able to perform with the orchestra. I also just received the wonderful news that I got call-backs to go do two live auditions in Boston for a master's program. I am excited and very nervous but I know that if that is my destiny I will end up going there; if not other doors will open.
All-in-all this year has been wonderful. I have grown-up and matured. I am thankful to have many friends that I know love me and accept me. I am thankful for my wonderful family who does everything in their power to help me and my brother out and I am thankful for the wonderful boyfriend who loves me, respects me and cheers me on. I can honestly say that I am a lucky man.
Everyone have a Happy New Year and let's all look forward to a great future.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
an ironic musician
This past Saturday I was invited to lead the praise and worship service with my mom and a friend. It was a last minute thing but I gladly agreed. It was nice to fill my old spot back.
One of the songs that we were going to sing is Silent Night, and easy song to harmonize in. The lady singing with us asked me if I wanted to sing the tenor part. I felt a little embarrassed as I told her that it was best if I didn't.
It is very embarrassing to admit that I, Brian Gonzalez, the voice major cannot harmonize. I can read music and harmonize like that but I have never been able to harmonize on the spot. I find this very sad and embarrassing. Every time that I attempt to harmonize people end up telling me to shut up because I am very off tune. I try very hard but I can never sing the harmony in a song.
When I think about this it is very amusing if you are not the one who cannot harmonize. I guess that my downfall as a musician is that I cannot harmonize and I will always have to admit that I am not a real musician.
One of the songs that we were going to sing is Silent Night, and easy song to harmonize in. The lady singing with us asked me if I wanted to sing the tenor part. I felt a little embarrassed as I told her that it was best if I didn't.
It is very embarrassing to admit that I, Brian Gonzalez, the voice major cannot harmonize. I can read music and harmonize like that but I have never been able to harmonize on the spot. I find this very sad and embarrassing. Every time that I attempt to harmonize people end up telling me to shut up because I am very off tune. I try very hard but I can never sing the harmony in a song.
When I think about this it is very amusing if you are not the one who cannot harmonize. I guess that my downfall as a musician is that I cannot harmonize and I will always have to admit that I am not a real musician.
Friday, September 10, 2010
to an old friend
It has been a while since I've needed you, dear old pen and paper. You have been there through the toughest and through the hardest times of my life. You have guided me through the happiest and you have helped me untangle the insignificant threads of my life. So many tears have fallen on you, and we have shared so many laughs. Once again I need your guidance, and your wise advice. Help me see my hardheadedness, help me understand my heart, and show me the road that I need to follow.
Monday, August 9, 2010
gay and other things.
I know it's been a while since I have posted anything. I really havent had much time to write I've been very busy. As of right now I am sitting in the top floor of Salzburg College in Salzburg, Austria. Austria is a beautiful city, I must say that it really annoys me that it rains a lot here and that it randomly get's cold and then really hot. Other then the weather Austria is a very nice place, it's very fun! I have met some wonderful musicians here and they are all very talented and have the same aspirations that I do.
I have been thinking lately, and I have found that my life is pretty amazing. It is very sad to admit that taking a break from religion and God was one of the best decisions that I have made. Don't get me wrong I think God and religion are great things, but I needed to cleanse and find my own truth and meaning of things. I think that I am finally ready to make my own religious decisions. It will take some time to fully develop my own idea, and claim a religion, if I get to that point, but then again, religion and the road to truth is a lifetime process, and I am ok with that.
I am slowly becoming more and more confident with myself, with who I am, how I look, how I act, and I love this. The religion and beliefs that I had were, a lot of times, setting me back and putting myself down. I honestly think that religion should make you feel better about yourself, and not put you down. As I become more confident with myself I feel the need to try to help others and impart my new found happiness to them. I realize that I am not the most qualified person, but we can all help each other.
I have been contemplating the idea of some sort of gay-activism at Southern. When I got to southern I remember being a depressed little boy who felt out of place, I felt completely lost. And now that I have found myself I want to prevent other gay/queer people from feeling like this. I realize that many people are at different stages of their coming out process and that's ok, but I want to give the image, the idea that they are not alone, that there are other people that if they need to, they can come too. Even though I am not a complete avid Jesus follower at the moment, I would like to show them, that in reality, the Jesus I have met loves EVERYONE, and in the end he does accept you for who you are. I think I refuse to believe in a God that does not love his sons and daughters for who they are. I will give this gay-activism/gay-straight-alliance idea more thought. I know that Dr. Stanley Stevenson is a great resource for gay people at southern. I have personally had the opportunity of chatting with him and he was a great resource, listener and friend.
I would please ask, that if you do read this and you think that starting something at Southern is a good idea, that you comment and let me know that I will have some sort of support. It is just scary at times that there will be some sort of repercussion, or very strong homophobic people that will cause some sort of damage.
TO MY ANONYMOUS READER:
IF you go to southern I know you can find my e-mail in access, you should send me an e-mail some day I'd like to talk to you more in depth, I mean if you'd like you could open an anonymous email and we can chat through there.
I have been thinking lately, and I have found that my life is pretty amazing. It is very sad to admit that taking a break from religion and God was one of the best decisions that I have made. Don't get me wrong I think God and religion are great things, but I needed to cleanse and find my own truth and meaning of things. I think that I am finally ready to make my own religious decisions. It will take some time to fully develop my own idea, and claim a religion, if I get to that point, but then again, religion and the road to truth is a lifetime process, and I am ok with that.
I am slowly becoming more and more confident with myself, with who I am, how I look, how I act, and I love this. The religion and beliefs that I had were, a lot of times, setting me back and putting myself down. I honestly think that religion should make you feel better about yourself, and not put you down. As I become more confident with myself I feel the need to try to help others and impart my new found happiness to them. I realize that I am not the most qualified person, but we can all help each other.
I have been contemplating the idea of some sort of gay-activism at Southern. When I got to southern I remember being a depressed little boy who felt out of place, I felt completely lost. And now that I have found myself I want to prevent other gay/queer people from feeling like this. I realize that many people are at different stages of their coming out process and that's ok, but I want to give the image, the idea that they are not alone, that there are other people that if they need to, they can come too. Even though I am not a complete avid Jesus follower at the moment, I would like to show them, that in reality, the Jesus I have met loves EVERYONE, and in the end he does accept you for who you are. I think I refuse to believe in a God that does not love his sons and daughters for who they are. I will give this gay-activism/gay-straight-alliance idea more thought. I know that Dr. Stanley Stevenson is a great resource for gay people at southern. I have personally had the opportunity of chatting with him and he was a great resource, listener and friend.
I would please ask, that if you do read this and you think that starting something at Southern is a good idea, that you comment and let me know that I will have some sort of support. It is just scary at times that there will be some sort of repercussion, or very strong homophobic people that will cause some sort of damage.
TO MY ANONYMOUS READER:
IF you go to southern I know you can find my e-mail in access, you should send me an e-mail some day I'd like to talk to you more in depth, I mean if you'd like you could open an anonymous email and we can chat through there.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Religion the Cause of Depression
Ludwig Wittgenstein, an Austrian-British philosopher, once said: “People are religious to the extent that they believe themselves to be not so much imperfect, as ill. Any man who is half-way decent will think himself extremely imperfect, but a religious man thinks himself wretched” (qtd. in Plant 449). To follow a religion, or a set of beliefs, based on a superhuman power is widely believed to help people have a better life. Many studies have shown a relation between a healthy individual and a religious person. Psychologists and researchers are continuing the research in this topic, and new results are showing that religion can sometimes be detrimental to a person’s health. Religion of all types can cause problems for people, such as guilt, shame, and stress, which can lead to depression. Essentially, religion is not healthful, in fact, religion can be damaging to a person’s well-being.
Depression is a term that people define in many ways, but many do not know what the actual meaning of being depressed is. People use the word depression to refer to emotions experienced ranging from “a slight noticeable and temporary mood decrease” (Hammen 3) to a deeper mood decrease that can, at times, threaten a person’s life (Hammen 3). The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines depression as a “disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies” (“Depression”). The depression that is being addressed in this research paper is not clinical depression, which requires a different form of clinical assistance. The depression that will be addressed here is the one that many people suffer from, but are able to function in everyday life. People should still be cautious of clinical depression because it may also come about.
Many people suffer from depression without being diagnosed. Depression should not be confused with mood decreases, but if there is a decrease in mood it should not be taken lightly. Some of the symptoms of depression include: a loss of pleasure in everyday activities or even of fun ones, a lack of appetite and weight loss. People that suffer from depression usually feel some sort of guilt and shame (Hammen 3). A depressed person tends to also participate in activities and acts that make them suffer even more (Alford and Beck 3). When compared to other diseases, depression is the leading cause of suffering in people (Hammen 4). Depression is a big issue in our society, and it should not be taken lightly. People should eliminate anything that could lead them into patterns that will lead them to suffer from depression, and if someone does suffer from depression, the necessary steps should be taken to address this issue.
Religion is not usually linked to depression; however, psychologists, scientists, and even theologians are starting to see a link between the two. In Catherine Ross’s article “Religion and Psychological Distress,” which was published in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, Ross writes: “religion is thought to comfort, relieve pain and suffering, make life worth living, provide hope and meaning, and help people cope with problems” (236). While much research shows that this is true, new findings and other factors seem to be showing something entirely different. Factors like guilt and shame, which the field of psychology traditionally has mixed feelings about but are usually taken as feelings that have a negative effect on the well-being of a person, leave people feeling alone and unwanted (Ciarrocchi and Murray 2). Guilt and shame can also lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, and sometimes, even suicide itself.
Many studies support the idea that religion causes depression. In a study done by J.J. Exline et al., which was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology under the title “Guilt, Discord, and Alienation: The Role of Religious Strain in Depression and Suicidality,” discuss how religion is usually considered a source of support for people. Exline et al. go on to say that religion can leave people feeling alone or unwanted because of the rejection they may experience. Exline et al. also states that people can criticize themselves because of their religious beliefs and gives an example, people doubting that their sins can be forgiven. Exline et al.’s study analyzed 200 undergraduate students taking psychology courses at a public university in which the students were asked to answer questions related to religious comfort and strain. These same students also took the Beek Depression Inventory (BDI) to look for signs of depression. The researchers came to the conclusion that strain through religion brings depression, especially when people feel alienated from God. “Suicidality was. . . found to correlate with religious strain, and the fear and guilt subscale was the primary predictor, particularly when participants believed they had committed a sin too heinous to be forgiven” (Exline et al.).
Another great stressor that religion brings that is also linked to guilt and shame is the belief that people can control the negative consequences of the transgressions they commit through their own will; this internal struggle has a negative effect associated with anxiety (Byrd and Swanson). This belief is deeply rooted in the religious belief that people can live a sinless life. Human beings have a tendency to try to fix problems, and many times, problems associated with religion cannot be fixed. Stress can also, eventually, lead to guilt and shame, which will bring depression.
Depression, which can be caused by religion, is related to self-esteem issues. Problems with self-esteem affect the mood of individuals, which, in turn, brings more depression. Studies conducted by Thao N. Le et al. on adolescent groups dealing with religiousness and depressive symptoms found that being religious, for European-American and African-American adolescents, is a factor that affects and predicts depression (226). While many other factors may affect these results, the results show that these two groups of teenagers who happen to be religious suffer from depression more often than other groups because of the guilt, that causes shame and stress, associated with their beliefs. During the teenage years, people experience self-esteem problems, feelings of rejection, etc., and religion only adds more negative feelings and more stress. This stress is deeply rooted in trying to live up to the expectations brought on by religion.
Teenagers are not the only type of people who suffer from depression because of religion. Another group of people, who feel guilt and shame because of religion, is the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, and questioning (LGBTQ) community. Most religions, especially theistic ones, condemn any type of sexual orientation that does not conform to the norm of a heterosexual lifestyle. Not only does an LGBTQ person feel rejected by religion because of the teachings, but religion also creates an unfriendly environment for LGBTQ people. “Religious culture often creates homophobic environments resulting in a struggle to integrate spiritual and sexual identities for LGB[TQ]” (Sherry et al. 113). Because of the environment of rejection, LGBTQ people tend to feel internalized homophobia, distress, shame, depression and suicidal thoughts. These feelings are brought about because their sexual identity is in conflict with their religion (Sherry et al. 113). Just like teenagers, people in the LGBTQ community are already experiencing feelings of rejection; they feel like outsiders, and religion only brings one more stressor into their lives by adding to the feelings of rejection, guilt and shame.
Religion has a big impact in people’s lives. In a survey done in the United States, the findings “suggested that 72% of those surveyed described religion as the most influential aspect of their lives” (Sherry et al. 113). Since religion plays such a big role, it is worth trying to find a solution to the problem of depression caused by religion. It is worth noting that religion does have many positive outcomes, but, in reality, most people doubt their beliefs. People who claim a religion and have no strong belief in it have the worst psychological conditions (Ross 243), one being depression. “The highest distress levels [are] found among those who have not made a commitment, who belong to a religion not out of choice but out of indifference” (243). People who follow religion because they are told to, and not because they have chosen to are the most likely to suffer from guilt, shame, and stress; but even people with strong beliefs are prone to suffer from these same conditions because of the strong beliefs and sets of rules that religion brings.
People that claim no religion have low stress levels, unlike people who claim a religious affiliation (Ross 241). People who do not follow a religion have made a conscious decision to reject religion, not a decision that has been taken lightly (234). Not having a religion, or a set of beliefs geared by a higher power that may or may not exist, reduces stress levels. The guilt, shame, and stress associated with living up to the expectations of a religion disappear. No longer is a person held to standards that may seem unattainable.
Having a set of beliefs and a religion seems to be an important part of people’s lives. While religion is usually a beneficial part of a person’s life, in different studies, religion is proving to be detrimental. Depression, a very common yet undiagnosed emotional sickness, seems to strongly affect people who follow religion. Religion, many times, causes stress; it also leads people to feel guilt and shame, which eventually leads to depression. Teenagers and people who fall out of social norms tend to be especially affected by this, but others are not excluded from these feelings. If this is affecting people who fall out of the norm, it seems beneficial for people to not have a religion or a set of beliefs based on a higher power, since studies are proving that people with no religion suffer significantly less from depression than religious followers. Without a belief system, people can avoid stress and feelings of guilt and shame, which studies show, can lead to depression.
Works Cited
Alford, Brad A. and Aaron T. Beck. Depression: Causes and Treatment. Philadelphia: U of Pennsylvania Press, 2009. Print.
Byrd, Kevin R., and Julie L. Swanson. “Death Anxiety as a Function of Religious Orientation, Guilt, and Separation–Individuation Conflict.” Death Studies 22.3 (1998): 257-69. Web. 17 May 2010.
Ciarrocchi, Joseph W. and Kelly Murray. “The Dark Side of Religion, Spirituality and the Moral Emotions: Shame, Guilt, and Negative Religiosity as Makers for Life Dissatisfaction.” Journal of Pastoral Counseling 42 (2007): 22-41. Web.
“Depression.” Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. Merriam-Wester Online, 2010. Web. 19 May 2010.
Exline, J. J., A. M. Yali, and W. C. Sanderson. “Guilt, Discord, and Alienation: The Role of Religious Strain in Depression and Suicidality.” Journal of Clinical Psychology 56.12 (2000): 1481-96. Web. 18 May 2010.
Hammen, Constance. Depression. East Sussex, UK: Psychology Press Ltd., 1997. Print.
Le, Thao N., William Tov, and Julie Taylor. “Religiousness and Depressive Symptoms in Five Ethnic Adolescent Groups.” Internal Journal for the Psychology of Religion 17.3 (2007): 209-32. Web. 17 May 2010.
Plant, Bob. “The Wretchedness of Belief: Wittgenstein on Guilt, Religion, and Recompense.” Journal of Religious Ethics 32.3 (2004): 449-76. Web. 19 May 2010.
Ross, Catherine E. “Religion and Psychological Distress.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 29.2 (1990): 236-45. Web. 18 May 2010.
Sherry, Alissa, et al. “Competing Selves: Negotiating the Intersection of Spiritual and Sexual Identities.” Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 41.2 (2010): 112-19. EBSCO. Web. 17 May 2010.
Depression is a term that people define in many ways, but many do not know what the actual meaning of being depressed is. People use the word depression to refer to emotions experienced ranging from “a slight noticeable and temporary mood decrease” (Hammen 3) to a deeper mood decrease that can, at times, threaten a person’s life (Hammen 3). The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines depression as a “disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies” (“Depression”). The depression that is being addressed in this research paper is not clinical depression, which requires a different form of clinical assistance. The depression that will be addressed here is the one that many people suffer from, but are able to function in everyday life. People should still be cautious of clinical depression because it may also come about.
Many people suffer from depression without being diagnosed. Depression should not be confused with mood decreases, but if there is a decrease in mood it should not be taken lightly. Some of the symptoms of depression include: a loss of pleasure in everyday activities or even of fun ones, a lack of appetite and weight loss. People that suffer from depression usually feel some sort of guilt and shame (Hammen 3). A depressed person tends to also participate in activities and acts that make them suffer even more (Alford and Beck 3). When compared to other diseases, depression is the leading cause of suffering in people (Hammen 4). Depression is a big issue in our society, and it should not be taken lightly. People should eliminate anything that could lead them into patterns that will lead them to suffer from depression, and if someone does suffer from depression, the necessary steps should be taken to address this issue.
Religion is not usually linked to depression; however, psychologists, scientists, and even theologians are starting to see a link between the two. In Catherine Ross’s article “Religion and Psychological Distress,” which was published in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion, Ross writes: “religion is thought to comfort, relieve pain and suffering, make life worth living, provide hope and meaning, and help people cope with problems” (236). While much research shows that this is true, new findings and other factors seem to be showing something entirely different. Factors like guilt and shame, which the field of psychology traditionally has mixed feelings about but are usually taken as feelings that have a negative effect on the well-being of a person, leave people feeling alone and unwanted (Ciarrocchi and Murray 2). Guilt and shame can also lead to depression, suicidal thoughts, and sometimes, even suicide itself.
Many studies support the idea that religion causes depression. In a study done by J.J. Exline et al., which was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology under the title “Guilt, Discord, and Alienation: The Role of Religious Strain in Depression and Suicidality,” discuss how religion is usually considered a source of support for people. Exline et al. go on to say that religion can leave people feeling alone or unwanted because of the rejection they may experience. Exline et al. also states that people can criticize themselves because of their religious beliefs and gives an example, people doubting that their sins can be forgiven. Exline et al.’s study analyzed 200 undergraduate students taking psychology courses at a public university in which the students were asked to answer questions related to religious comfort and strain. These same students also took the Beek Depression Inventory (BDI) to look for signs of depression. The researchers came to the conclusion that strain through religion brings depression, especially when people feel alienated from God. “Suicidality was. . . found to correlate with religious strain, and the fear and guilt subscale was the primary predictor, particularly when participants believed they had committed a sin too heinous to be forgiven” (Exline et al.).
Another great stressor that religion brings that is also linked to guilt and shame is the belief that people can control the negative consequences of the transgressions they commit through their own will; this internal struggle has a negative effect associated with anxiety (Byrd and Swanson). This belief is deeply rooted in the religious belief that people can live a sinless life. Human beings have a tendency to try to fix problems, and many times, problems associated with religion cannot be fixed. Stress can also, eventually, lead to guilt and shame, which will bring depression.
Depression, which can be caused by religion, is related to self-esteem issues. Problems with self-esteem affect the mood of individuals, which, in turn, brings more depression. Studies conducted by Thao N. Le et al. on adolescent groups dealing with religiousness and depressive symptoms found that being religious, for European-American and African-American adolescents, is a factor that affects and predicts depression (226). While many other factors may affect these results, the results show that these two groups of teenagers who happen to be religious suffer from depression more often than other groups because of the guilt, that causes shame and stress, associated with their beliefs. During the teenage years, people experience self-esteem problems, feelings of rejection, etc., and religion only adds more negative feelings and more stress. This stress is deeply rooted in trying to live up to the expectations brought on by religion.
Teenagers are not the only type of people who suffer from depression because of religion. Another group of people, who feel guilt and shame because of religion, is the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, and questioning (LGBTQ) community. Most religions, especially theistic ones, condemn any type of sexual orientation that does not conform to the norm of a heterosexual lifestyle. Not only does an LGBTQ person feel rejected by religion because of the teachings, but religion also creates an unfriendly environment for LGBTQ people. “Religious culture often creates homophobic environments resulting in a struggle to integrate spiritual and sexual identities for LGB[TQ]” (Sherry et al. 113). Because of the environment of rejection, LGBTQ people tend to feel internalized homophobia, distress, shame, depression and suicidal thoughts. These feelings are brought about because their sexual identity is in conflict with their religion (Sherry et al. 113). Just like teenagers, people in the LGBTQ community are already experiencing feelings of rejection; they feel like outsiders, and religion only brings one more stressor into their lives by adding to the feelings of rejection, guilt and shame.
Religion has a big impact in people’s lives. In a survey done in the United States, the findings “suggested that 72% of those surveyed described religion as the most influential aspect of their lives” (Sherry et al. 113). Since religion plays such a big role, it is worth trying to find a solution to the problem of depression caused by religion. It is worth noting that religion does have many positive outcomes, but, in reality, most people doubt their beliefs. People who claim a religion and have no strong belief in it have the worst psychological conditions (Ross 243), one being depression. “The highest distress levels [are] found among those who have not made a commitment, who belong to a religion not out of choice but out of indifference” (243). People who follow religion because they are told to, and not because they have chosen to are the most likely to suffer from guilt, shame, and stress; but even people with strong beliefs are prone to suffer from these same conditions because of the strong beliefs and sets of rules that religion brings.
People that claim no religion have low stress levels, unlike people who claim a religious affiliation (Ross 241). People who do not follow a religion have made a conscious decision to reject religion, not a decision that has been taken lightly (234). Not having a religion, or a set of beliefs geared by a higher power that may or may not exist, reduces stress levels. The guilt, shame, and stress associated with living up to the expectations of a religion disappear. No longer is a person held to standards that may seem unattainable.
Having a set of beliefs and a religion seems to be an important part of people’s lives. While religion is usually a beneficial part of a person’s life, in different studies, religion is proving to be detrimental. Depression, a very common yet undiagnosed emotional sickness, seems to strongly affect people who follow religion. Religion, many times, causes stress; it also leads people to feel guilt and shame, which eventually leads to depression. Teenagers and people who fall out of social norms tend to be especially affected by this, but others are not excluded from these feelings. If this is affecting people who fall out of the norm, it seems beneficial for people to not have a religion or a set of beliefs based on a higher power, since studies are proving that people with no religion suffer significantly less from depression than religious followers. Without a belief system, people can avoid stress and feelings of guilt and shame, which studies show, can lead to depression.
Works Cited
Alford, Brad A. and Aaron T. Beck. Depression: Causes and Treatment. Philadelphia: U of Pennsylvania Press, 2009. Print.
Byrd, Kevin R., and Julie L. Swanson. “Death Anxiety as a Function of Religious Orientation, Guilt, and Separation–Individuation Conflict.” Death Studies 22.3 (1998): 257-69. Web. 17 May 2010.
Ciarrocchi, Joseph W. and Kelly Murray. “The Dark Side of Religion, Spirituality and the Moral Emotions: Shame, Guilt, and Negative Religiosity as Makers for Life Dissatisfaction.” Journal of Pastoral Counseling 42 (2007): 22-41. Web.
“Depression.” Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. Merriam-Wester Online, 2010. Web. 19 May 2010.
Exline, J. J., A. M. Yali, and W. C. Sanderson. “Guilt, Discord, and Alienation: The Role of Religious Strain in Depression and Suicidality.” Journal of Clinical Psychology 56.12 (2000): 1481-96. Web. 18 May 2010.
Hammen, Constance. Depression. East Sussex, UK: Psychology Press Ltd., 1997. Print.
Le, Thao N., William Tov, and Julie Taylor. “Religiousness and Depressive Symptoms in Five Ethnic Adolescent Groups.” Internal Journal for the Psychology of Religion 17.3 (2007): 209-32. Web. 17 May 2010.
Plant, Bob. “The Wretchedness of Belief: Wittgenstein on Guilt, Religion, and Recompense.” Journal of Religious Ethics 32.3 (2004): 449-76. Web. 19 May 2010.
Ross, Catherine E. “Religion and Psychological Distress.” Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 29.2 (1990): 236-45. Web. 18 May 2010.
Sherry, Alissa, et al. “Competing Selves: Negotiating the Intersection of Spiritual and Sexual Identities.” Professional Psychology: Research and Practice 41.2 (2010): 112-19. EBSCO. Web. 17 May 2010.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
untitled
There is a lonely boy sitting in a balcony, he is starting into the distance with an expression of deep sadness. I want to ask what is wrong; I want to comfort him. I whisper, “are you ok?” He doesn’t hear me. I try once more, this time louder; again he ignores me. I try yelling, but no answer. I try to approach him, to touch him, and as soon as I attempt to, I find that he inside a box, a glass box. He sees me. He raises his arm, he mouths something, I can’t understand. He looks like he has given up, and slowly his arm comes down and a tear flows down his cheek.
Friday, April 16, 2010
red floor
I feel empty.
the thoughts that I have of you scare me
they confuse me.
It is not meant to be,
I am a glass vase falling slowly,
I am shattered.
Red floor.
the thoughts that I have of you scare me
they confuse me.
It is not meant to be,
I am a glass vase falling slowly,
I am shattered.
Red floor.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
religion vs unbelief
I have had many discussions about religion the last couple of days and I have noticed so many mistakes that both non-believers and christians, and I suppose in this case Seventh-day Adventist do.
Christians out there, do not make assumptions about your beliefs that other people should just have as general knowledge, what do I mean by this? Well, many times Christians believe that just because they believe the bible is real that they can quote it left and right and in general use it as a way to combat the idea of atheism or agnosticism. Newsflash! you cannot use the bible that often when having a discussion because these people do not believe the bible is true, so why should they take whatever you say as an infallible truth?
Another thing that bothers me about Christians, is when people try to have a discussion about religion with them and sometimes their face assumes this condescending smile that just yells I have a truth that you should to never have so I am better than you. Aren't Christians suppose to want to reach other people? Be humble and yes, discuss religion with others because not only will it strengthen your belief but you might be able to touch someone else heart. Also be careful when you try to have a discussion many times these people you are arguing with have a better understanding of your belief system and of the bible than you do. Many, at least in this case, grew up in the Adventist system.
One last piece of advice, do not be close to other ideas, or at least put you atheist/agnostic hat on when you have a discussion with people with other beliefs so that you can understand their point of view.
Now, to you atheist or agnostics out there, you have many of the faults that Christians also have, you in reality are not too different from the Christians. You also assume many things and you do not put yourself in the shoes of Christians. You assume that Christians are stupid beings who are not smart and cannot think logically or get far in life. I have heard many unbelievers be surprise when they find out that a really smart scientist or researcher is a christian because they assume that science leads to atheistic views or evolutionism. Have you ever thought about how maybe science could also lead to show that there is a God at least to that person?
Another grave error that atheist have, specially ones who used to be Christians, is that they are not able to separate their bitterness with christianity from their belief system, even if they don't realize it, when someone hears them people can totally notice that somewhere in there bitterness is the root of their recent or far gone abandonment of religion.
Also, if you used to be a christian remember what your beliefs use to be, and what you know that is the foundation for many people's beliefs and put yourself in their shoes and understand their views and do not try to discredit their prophets or their bible if the decide to quote it. Understand that this set of beliefs is the essence of there lives, and that they are also intelligent people who probably have as much studies and knowledge of life as you do.
In conclusion, both parties need to learn to be open minded when discussing with people with different beliefs and both parties need to acquire thinking hats from the other party so as to understand the other person's point of view. Never, ever try to discuss religion with someone to make them seem stupid, or make them see that they are wrong, I think you should discuss religion so as to edify your belief system, whatever it may be, and to learn more about other people and yourself. Also, never discuss a topic that you, yourself are not familiar with, even if you agree or disagree with it, get your facts right!
p.s. Religion is definitely an emotional thing mixed with some logic while atheism is a logically and scientifically proven thing (usually) so remember to understand these two things are totally opposite of each other so try to understand them that way too!
Christians out there, do not make assumptions about your beliefs that other people should just have as general knowledge, what do I mean by this? Well, many times Christians believe that just because they believe the bible is real that they can quote it left and right and in general use it as a way to combat the idea of atheism or agnosticism. Newsflash! you cannot use the bible that often when having a discussion because these people do not believe the bible is true, so why should they take whatever you say as an infallible truth?
Another thing that bothers me about Christians, is when people try to have a discussion about religion with them and sometimes their face assumes this condescending smile that just yells I have a truth that you should to never have so I am better than you. Aren't Christians suppose to want to reach other people? Be humble and yes, discuss religion with others because not only will it strengthen your belief but you might be able to touch someone else heart. Also be careful when you try to have a discussion many times these people you are arguing with have a better understanding of your belief system and of the bible than you do. Many, at least in this case, grew up in the Adventist system.
One last piece of advice, do not be close to other ideas, or at least put you atheist/agnostic hat on when you have a discussion with people with other beliefs so that you can understand their point of view.
Now, to you atheist or agnostics out there, you have many of the faults that Christians also have, you in reality are not too different from the Christians. You also assume many things and you do not put yourself in the shoes of Christians. You assume that Christians are stupid beings who are not smart and cannot think logically or get far in life. I have heard many unbelievers be surprise when they find out that a really smart scientist or researcher is a christian because they assume that science leads to atheistic views or evolutionism. Have you ever thought about how maybe science could also lead to show that there is a God at least to that person?
Another grave error that atheist have, specially ones who used to be Christians, is that they are not able to separate their bitterness with christianity from their belief system, even if they don't realize it, when someone hears them people can totally notice that somewhere in there bitterness is the root of their recent or far gone abandonment of religion.
Also, if you used to be a christian remember what your beliefs use to be, and what you know that is the foundation for many people's beliefs and put yourself in their shoes and understand their views and do not try to discredit their prophets or their bible if the decide to quote it. Understand that this set of beliefs is the essence of there lives, and that they are also intelligent people who probably have as much studies and knowledge of life as you do.
In conclusion, both parties need to learn to be open minded when discussing with people with different beliefs and both parties need to acquire thinking hats from the other party so as to understand the other person's point of view. Never, ever try to discuss religion with someone to make them seem stupid, or make them see that they are wrong, I think you should discuss religion so as to edify your belief system, whatever it may be, and to learn more about other people and yourself. Also, never discuss a topic that you, yourself are not familiar with, even if you agree or disagree with it, get your facts right!
p.s. Religion is definitely an emotional thing mixed with some logic while atheism is a logically and scientifically proven thing (usually) so remember to understand these two things are totally opposite of each other so try to understand them that way too!
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